Enjoying The Struggle....

Well, Well, Well....Here I am.  It's been a while, hasn't it? The kind of "It's been so long" that it really bothers me & disappoints me.  BUT....as much as I hate using excuses,  I was having a rough few weeks. About 2 1/2 weeks ago or so,  I thought I had the stomach bug....up all night, very ill, faint stomach pains.  The pain continued a week or so, with other pretty scary symptoms...so I went to the Dr.  She says "No infection...you're fine! Just head home and rest".  I'm pretty sure I know my own body and I'm pretty sure something is not right...BUT, I just nod, smile and head home.  Well...along comes 3am and what is happening? I am doubled over, in severe pain and on my way to the ER.  Gosh Darn Kidney Stone! And boy do those little buggers HURT.  I was down and out for over a week,  sleeping 1 hour a night,  not able to eat.  Just lots of crying & lots of shower to try to help me cope with the pain. Finally,  the pain eased,  but as for the eating half of things? Well...that seemed nearly impossible. My body didn't want anything to do with anything I put in my mouth.  I'm finally just about ready to eat regularly again. Which in turn means I should be able to workout again now that I can get proper nutrition!

Anyways,  this all lead up to my weigh in this morning....I was a little nervous to say the least! Well,  I shakily stood on....and what do ya know? Holding steady at 190... 1/2 a pound away from my first mini-goal.  No loss,  No gain. But that is alright with me! I was expecting 10 steps backwards after this fiasco! It was such a sense of relief.  That I am still in the game. That I can still do this!  That I am right where I left off and that is ok,  because I can go from here and make this happen.  Half a pound. One Half of a pound. That's all I need to break through my first Mini-Goal.  I can't wait for that feeling. That sense of accomplishment.

Which leads me to my quote of the day....



It's time for me to enjoy this struggle.  Enjoy this ride. This journey.  Because without it,  how much satisfaction can I get from that prize? From meeting that goal? I have to just think of all that I am doing to change my life. To create a healthier, happier me.  This is ME. This is MY work. This is MY struggle.  And I'm glad to be doing it. I am proud, thankful,  and even more motivated than ever to start being able to check off my mini-goals, one by one until I get there. I have to say,  I am very very thankful for MyFitnessPal & all of the amazing, supportive, friendly people I have encountered there.  They have always had inspiring stories,  motivating accomplishments, and the kindest words of encouragement.  They always remind me...I am not alone. There are others out there going through this same struggle, with the same prize in mind. My sincerest "Thank You" to all of them!

I'm glad to say....I'm back!

Quin-What??? Quinoa!

Well, I just picked up some Quinoa at Trader Joe's today--under $4 for a box!! I love that store, they have been a savior during my attempt to live & eat much healthier--Great food AND Great prices!
Anyways...point being, I posted a blog post a few weeks ago with what looks like an awesome Quinoa Burger recipe. And others seemed very interested in this mysterious whole-protien grain as well. So here are a couple of other recipes I came across that I may try. I just need to pick up some carrots and I will have everything to make the Cheesy Bites! I will update with any results =)

Enjoy & let me know if you try them out!
Quinoa with Corn--

Recipe: http://www.justataste.com/2011/07/quinoa-with-corn-and-scallions/


Cheesy Quinoa Bites


Recipe:http://www.soveryblessed.com/2012/01/cheesy-quinoa-bites.html

They look delicious don't they??

Great Idea!

I saw this today and just think it is such a great idea.  I'm a huge fan of visuals....I feel they help me greatly in all aspects of my life. This one is no exception! I'm also a HUGE arts & crafts fan and would love to make 2 cute glass containers for this! 


 

Day...wait, what day is it?

Well,  it has been a long week & 1/2 with no internet!! No blogging,  no My Fitness Pal, No recipe searching or quote pinning on Pinterest.  No way to stay focus and motivated. But....I have learned something,  and that is....




and I definitely feel that is true.  I was worried all week about what results I would have when I was fully back online and about to do a weigh in.  I haven't been tracking, logging, focusing like I should. And, truthfully....with out any valid reason.  You don't need an internet to do this, absolutely not....but, for some reason I felt like I wasn't as strong without all of my tools. Come to find out,  my will power to avoid chips, fries, bread, pizza etc. is getting STRONGER. I don't think about it a lot,  I don't worry about it,  I don't miss that. Don't get me wrong, I do have some here and there...but not like I was. And what do you know....down .8 lbs. 2 pounds a way from my first mini goal.  WITHOUT MY ONLINE TOOLS.  All on my own.  It felt pretty gosh darn good.  And now that I have access to all of my online resources, I feel stronger than ever.  I can't wait to get back at it all....and stay dedicated to this process, this change and all of the things that help me get through it =)  Stick to it all....your will power will get stronger, and it will feel GOOD. 

Here we go day 3, Nice to see you!

"Wake Up With Determination. Go To Bed With Satisfaction!"


Day 3. Dayyyy 3. You are here. So, three things....


Well, #1. I just found this...

And this is truly what I hope to achieve. And I am starting to think I can do this. I really can.


Number 2. Ohhhh number 2. This weekend was a real test....in my breakroom at work there is a vending machine. Oh, the vending machine--in which I usually find myself standing infront of, contemplating chips, salted cashews, doritos or fritos. Well...this weekend...I didn't buy a single thing! I did not even look at it or give it a thought. I stuck to just what I had in my lunch box. And that....THAT felt good.


And 3 I tried Quinoa pasta tonight...pretty darn good. So, I tried to find more about Quinoa and recipes I could use to include it in my diet...and found this recipe...which I can not wait to give a shot!

2 rounded cups cooked quinoa (see note below for cooking instructions)

3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese (or other variety, if you prefer)

1/2 cup low-fat cottage cheese

1 medium carrot, finely grated (OR 1 cup shredded zucchini, squeezed dry)

3 eggs

3 tablespoons all purpose flour

2 green onions, including white parts

1 /2 teaspoon Splenda or sugar

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon garlic powder

Olive oil for frying

.

To cook quinoa:

1 cup uncooked quinoa

2 cups water

1/2 teaspoon salt

In a medium saucepan bring the 2 cups water and 1/2 teaspoon salt to a boil over high heat. Add quinoa and reduce heat to low. Cover and cook for 18-20 minutes, or until all water is absorbed and the seeds are tender. Allow to cool for a few minutes.

In a large bowl combine the cooked quinoa, cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, carrot, eggs, flour, green onions, Splenda, pepper, cumin, salt, and garlic powder.

(To help them stay in patty form and not fall apart, I cook them on med-low slowly so they have longer to set-up without burning. Makes them easier to flip, too.) Heat a frying pan and a couple teaspoons olive oil over medium-low heat. Mixture will be slightly sticky, so using a 1/4 cup measuring cup, drop mixture into pan and lightly flatten to 1/2 inch thick. Fry until golden-brown, about 4 minutes on each side. Makes approx. 10 burgers.

Per burger: Calories 132; Protein 8 g; Fat 5 g; NET Carbs 12 g; (Fiber 2 g); Sugar 0 g; Sodium 200 mg

Hope someone else can use it too! Enjoy =)

Day 2....2.9lbs down!

Now, I don't want to go and get my hopes up...because I know weight fluctuates by a few lbs here and there. BUT I weighed in today down nearly 3lbs in 8 days! That felt AWESOME. It made me feel like I'm finally doing something right and that this isn't impossible after all! 


Now everytime I go to eat or drink something my first thought is....is this going to help me or hurt me?  Which I think is great....because I did indeed used to think that,  but then would consider what I look like,  get upset....and just eat it anyways ("just this last time..." of course).  I want to change.  I want to be proud of myself.  I want to accomplish something so amazing as to feel good about MYSELF.


Myself? Sounds weird to say.  Myself.  I forgot who myself is sometimes.  I work 7 days a week first of all.  Second of all,  I worry  more about everyone else than myself.  I just want everyone to be happy.  Even if that means I'm not always. I think that's how I got here.  I don't even give a thought to me....unless it's to cry and feel sorry for myself to see where I have come. But I want to change that....I want to cry for ME because I look damn awesome! haha. I do....I really do.  That is what I want.  I want to show my co-workers, my boyfriend, my family, my friends....that I CAN BE SKINNY!  


What comes with that that I want? Going shopping and feeling good! Wearing a bathingsuit and feeling good! Having people say more than "You have such a pretty face!".  Have my friends and family think I look GOOD. That is what I want.  I want all of those good feelings that I don't have...and can't remember when I did have them. I want to feel that pride.  That is what I want out of this. And this time....I'm not stopping til I get it. 




-You Don't Get What You Wish For,  You Get What You Work For-

Well....here it starts.

Well,  here it goes...day #1.  No turning back this time. Healthy food, working out, blogging, tracking....it's time.  


To kick this off,  I'll start with a little about myself.  I am 28 years old,  5'1 and weigh...well,  let's just say it's not the 127 I used to cry over in high school.  I have always tried to be healthy and always tried to work out and be active--but something was always there to get in my way.  I think about it a lot...I think about it all the time. It eats away at me everyday. I didn't get to this place by liking food....I don't even like food at all actually! I am the pickiest eater ever! But,  at 22...I had a cyst that ruptured,  which in turn lead to a diagnosis of type 2 Diabetes, which then led to medication, medication and more medication.  The more medications,  the more weight. It just kept coming on, coming on, and coming on.  It was heartbreaking to me...probably half the reason I have anxiety and depression. Because I'm the "fat friend",  the short and round girl,  the "you have such a pretty face" girl.  Ugh...I don't want to be that girl. 


I look at every girl I see...comparing, judging, wishing, hoping...."I want to be like that", "Why can't that be me?",  "I bet my boyfriend would think she was pretty.",  "I bet my boyfriend wished I looked like her.".  Those kind of thoughts can realllllly start getting to you.  Well,  at least they do to me. They make it so hard. I hate shopping,  I hate going out, I hate trying to dress up, I wont even wear jeans for god sake.  And I even have super tiny legs! It's just my gosh darn gut. My spare tires...plural.  I hate it. It disgusts me. I hate looking in the mirror.  I hate when I talk to people and I feel like their eyes gaze down.  I hate wondering what people think who haven't seen me in a while.  I hate worrying that my friends say, "Kristin has really gained a lot of weight", I hate thinking "My boyfriend is on the computer because he can't stand to be near me....I wouldn't be able to stand being near me". Who knows if it's even true...but that's how I feel and that's how I ended up sitting here,  doing this.  I can't take it anymore.  I always work for what I want--so why can't I just stick to my guns and work for this. Why is it always so hard? Well.....the hell with wondering, time to just gosh darn do it! It is time NOW.


SOOOOO...here I am.  It's 9:20 on March 2nd, 2012 and I am hoping to lose at least 50 lbs in the next year. So...for the last week 2 weeks I have been working on diet.  Today,  I just added in blogging and tracking.  I use MyFitnessPal.com (kristin1219 if you wanna add me =) ) I did ok...over by 120 calories. But for my first shot, I figured I did ok? I'll learn.  Lastly...as soon as I'm over this bronchitis, I will be going to the gym where I work.  I get a trainer and gym access for free! I know, amazing right? I also purchased Wii Zumba Fitness for the days that I am feeling like a workout at home.  


Here,  is where I am going to track my journey...maybe meet people who can help me along  or be there for someone else who is doing the same thing.  I'll do my best to post daily with an update,  workout strategies I enjoyed,  food or products that have helped,  etc.  All questions and comments are welcome! I actually really do hope to hear from people!


And with that,  I will get going for today....but, I will be back tomorrow--and every day from now on--so I can get through this journey...and be the girl I hope to be by the end of this! 




-No Matter How Slow You Go--You Are Still Lapping Everyone On The Couch-