Now, I don't want to go and get my hopes up...because I know weight fluctuates by a few lbs here and there. BUT I weighed in today down nearly 3lbs in 8 days! That felt AWESOME. It made me feel like I'm finally doing something right and that this isn't impossible after all!
Now everytime I go to eat or drink something my first thought is....is this going to help me or hurt me? Which I think is great....because I did indeed used to think that, but then would consider what I look like, get upset....and just eat it anyways ("just this last time..." of course). I want to change. I want to be proud of myself. I want to accomplish something so amazing as to feel good about MYSELF.
Myself? Sounds weird to say. Myself. I forgot who myself is sometimes. I work 7 days a week first of all. Second of all, I worry more about everyone else than myself. I just want everyone to be happy. Even if that means I'm not always. I think that's how I got here. I don't even give a thought to me....unless it's to cry and feel sorry for myself to see where I have come. But I want to change that....I want to cry for ME because I look damn awesome! haha. I do....I really do. That is what I want. I want to show my co-workers, my boyfriend, my family, my friends....that I CAN BE SKINNY!
What comes with that that I want? Going shopping and feeling good! Wearing a bathingsuit and feeling good! Having people say more than "You have such a pretty face!". Have my friends and family think I look GOOD. That is what I want. I want all of those good feelings that I don't have...and can't remember when I did have them. I want to feel that pride. That is what I want out of this. And this time....I'm not stopping til I get it.
-You Don't Get What You Wish For, You Get What You Work For-
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