To kick this off, I'll start with a little about myself. I am 28 years old, 5'1 and weigh...well, let's just say it's not the 127 I used to cry over in high school. I have always tried to be healthy and always tried to work out and be active--but something was always there to get in my way. I think about it a lot...I think about it all the time. It eats away at me everyday. I didn't get to this place by liking food....I don't even like food at all actually! I am the pickiest eater ever! But, at 22...I had a cyst that ruptured, which in turn lead to a diagnosis of type 2 Diabetes, which then led to medication, medication and more medication. The more medications, the more weight. It just kept coming on, coming on, and coming on. It was heartbreaking to me...probably half the reason I have anxiety and depression. Because I'm the "fat friend", the short and round girl, the "you have such a pretty face" girl. Ugh...I don't want to be that girl.
I look at every girl I see...comparing, judging, wishing, hoping...."I want to be like that", "Why can't that be me?", "I bet my boyfriend would think she was pretty.", "I bet my boyfriend wished I looked like her.". Those kind of thoughts can realllllly start getting to you. Well, at least they do to me. They make it so hard. I hate shopping, I hate going out, I hate trying to dress up, I wont even wear jeans for god sake. And I even have super tiny legs! It's just my gosh darn gut. My spare tires...plural. I hate it. It disgusts me. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate when I talk to people and I feel like their eyes gaze down. I hate wondering what people think who haven't seen me in a while. I hate worrying that my friends say, "Kristin has really gained a lot of weight", I hate thinking "My boyfriend is on the computer because he can't stand to be near me....I wouldn't be able to stand being near me". Who knows if it's even true...but that's how I feel and that's how I ended up sitting here, doing this. I can't take it anymore. I always work for what I want--so why can't I just stick to my guns and work for this. Why is it always so hard? Well.....the hell with wondering, time to just gosh darn do it! It is time NOW.
SOOOOO...here I am. It's 9:20 on March 2nd, 2012 and I am hoping to lose at least 50 lbs in the next year. So...for the last week 2 weeks I have been working on diet. Today, I just added in blogging and tracking. I use MyFitnessPal.com (kristin1219 if you wanna add me =) ) I did ok...over by 120 calories. But for my first shot, I figured I did ok? I'll learn. Lastly...as soon as I'm over this bronchitis, I will be going to the gym where I work. I get a trainer and gym access for free! I know, amazing right? I also purchased Wii Zumba Fitness for the days that I am feeling like a workout at home.
Here, is where I am going to track my journey...maybe meet people who can help me along or be there for someone else who is doing the same thing. I'll do my best to post daily with an update, workout strategies I enjoyed, food or products that have helped, etc. All questions and comments are welcome! I actually really do hope to hear from people!
And with that, I will get going for today....but, I will be back tomorrow--and every day from now on--so I can get through this journey...and be the girl I hope to be by the end of this!
-No Matter How Slow You Go--You Are Still Lapping Everyone On The Couch-
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